“… in sickness and in health…”
Chances are you immediately recognize the above passage—or some variation thereof—as belonging to traditional Christian wedding vows. Most newlyweds can easily quote these vows, but how many must contend with the pledge contained within so soon after being wed?
Count Alicia and Tyler Cox as being among those newlyweds who learned early on the meaning of those vows.
You see, Alicia and Tyler were wed in August of 2022, and it was just a scant seven months later that Tyler was being evaluated to determine if he would be placed on a kidney transplant list.
“Tyler was experiencing fatigue, insomnia, shortness of breath, foamy urine, and having difficulty lifting equipment at work,” Alicia said. “After monthly bloodwork, his kidney doctor informed us that his kidney function was declining to the point where he would require dialysis or a kidney transplant.”
Now, it didn’t come as too much of a surprise to Alicia when Tyler began experiencing symptoms related to kidney failure. After all, Tyler had known for years that he was born with only one kidney.
Still, the news hit the young couple hard when Tyler met with his specialist.
“I was a bit apprehensive, to be honest, when we embarked on this journey,” said Alicia.
Between February and March of 2023, the couple repeatedly visited Ohio State University’s Wexner Medical Center to ensure Tyler could receive a transplanted kidney, meaning doctors needed to ascertain he is healthy enough for surgery and, according to Alicia, “has a robust support system” in place.
In April, Tyler had surgery to prepare him for dialysis, and by June, he was officially placed on the transplant list. Dialysis would be done at home and began in August, meaning Tyler has been on it for nearly a year as he awaits a new kidney.
For those unfamiliar with dialysis, it is a time-consuming and physically draining process that can produce a variety of side effects. Tyler’s sessions typically last for more than four hours and occur four days per week.
“Unfortunately, Tyler faced challenges early on, experiencing nausea and an infiltration during dialysis,” said Alicia. “This required a temporary catheter for dialysis, which was removed in October.”
During this period, Tyler was on leave thanks to the 1993 Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) but upon returning to his job as a diesel mechanic, he faced difficulties due to the dialysis. After exhausting his FMLA leave, Tyler was let go from his job in January 2024.
The Byzantine regulations that guide federal aid mean that Alicia and Tyler have had to struggle since then.
“While he was approved for disability due to dialysis, Tyler won’t receive benefits until August, as a five-month unemployment period is required,” said Alicia. “And he won’t be receiving any lump sum back pay when his disability begins.”
But friends and family have stepped up to help the young couple out.
“Despite the challenges, we are grateful for the unwavering support of our community, family, and friends, who have organized fundraising dinners to assist us,” said Alicia.
Retelling her and Tyler’s experiences, a focal point for Alicia is education as she claims that more knowledge on the part of both health professionals and insurance companies in the past likely would have altered Tyler’s situation today.
First, Alicia says that Tyler’s mother attempted to enlist a dietitian’s services when he was young, but her insurance company declined coverage, deeming it an unnecessary expense. There were also problems with Tyler’s physician.
“She expressed regret that the doctor Tyler had when he was younger wasn’t as helpful, considering he had only one kidney,” said Alicia. “More education earlier on might have delayed the need for dialysis in 2023.”
Sadly, there is still a dire need for education concerning kidney transplantation today. Having been forced into this new reality, Alicia has certainly learned much about the process. She has acquired so much information that one could mistake Alicia for a nephrologist after hearing her discuss kidneys transplants and the issues that plague the procedure.
“One out of every five donated kidneys is discarded due to problems such as incorrect handling, transportation errors, or miscommunication between medical facilities,” said Alicia. “These logistical mishaps are not only wasteful but also heartbreaking, as they diminish the chances of survival for patients waiting on the transplant list.”
This is why education is critical as many Americans are unaware not only of the transplantation process, but also of kidney disease itself. And currently, chronic kidney disease (CKD), affects more than one in seven adults, or about 35.5 million people in the United States.
“Increasing public awareness through educational campaigns can empower more people to participate effectively in the donation process, either as donors or advocates,” said Alicia. “By fostering a more informed community, we can reduce the number of discarded kidneys and increase the chances of successful transplants. Through collaborative efforts in education and advocacy, we can ensure that more lives are saved and that the precious gift of donation is utilized to its fullest potential.”
For now, this couple watches and waits, hoping for that one suitable donor who can help Tyler, 31, resume a normal, active life. And again, the concept of education surfaces, for Alicia knows she has learned much about strength, sacrifice, and love.
“I often hear people commend us for our courage and resilience, as many would choose to give up and walk away,” she said. “I made a promise to Tyler, and although it’s tough, our love for each other is unwavering. Going through this ordeal early in our marriage has actually strengthened our bond.”
** For more information and to show your support for Tyler, please visit Alicia’s Facebook group “Tyler J. Cox needs a kidney” as well as her blog, which can be found at https://tylercoxkidneyjourney.wordpress.com. **
